Thursday, 27 August 2009

Poem: Upside down

The world is turned upside down
I have to stand on my hands
to see things in the right way
though in the light of the day
there is no black or white,
merely different shades of grey

Somehow they forgot to mention
just how hard life could be
when becoming a grownup
on a globe were people get blown up
and nothing that you can do;
the guilty will not own up




So here's another try with some more structure. All three (now two) stanzas are made up of six lines. The third, fourth and sixth line of every stanza rhymes, and all lines have six-eight syllabuses.

Please do comment.

Time: One and a half hour, at least.

4 Comments:

At 31 August 2009 at 19:40 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The third stanza got me a bit confused - what lists? I like the first two ones though, and nice work with the rhymes. :)

 
At 31 August 2009 at 22:59 , Blogger Malin said...

Oj. Blev lite väl inne i mina egna tankar, haha, jag ska kanske ändra. Mm, det borde jag nog. Vad tror du om att ta bort den helt?
Så kanske jag gör.

 
At 1 September 2009 at 21:18 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ja, eller kanske lägga till en strof för att knyta ihop säcken?

 
At 2 September 2009 at 03:08 , Blogger Malin said...

Vi får se.

 

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